Where do I go from here?

Six days… I only lasted six days. I wanted to be sober because I drink for the wrong reasons. I drink to temporarily forget how sad and hurt I am, but being sober was too hard. There was too many feelings rising to the surface that I worked too hard to block out, to escape; I wasn’t ready to face those demons yet. I don’t want to face reality; I’m not ready to accept things for what they are. I feel like my life is falling apart and I’m trying so hard to keep it all together, but I’m losing. I’m constantly losing. On the outside I appear as though I’m fine, but inside I am broken. I don’t even know where to start, but I’m tired of hearing things will get better because they seem to only get worse. I try to be more positive to attract new energy into my life and it seems like I just keep getting slapped in the face. I’m questioning my future, my purpose, my reasoning as to why I continue on. 

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