A new beginning 

Day one of sobriety:
7:48am- I already have symptoms of withdrawals. Right now I just have a headache and loss of appetite. Im craving margaritas, but that’s the easy way out. To give into the urges just to stop the pain temporarily. I can do this though, I did it once before and I can do it again. I keep thinking of all the bad I’ve done while intoxicated and I don’t want to experience any of that ever again. 
10:04pm- Approaching the end of day one. My reliance on alcohol is all in my head. I tell myself I need it because it makes me feel better, but when I look at all that has happened as a result of abusing alcohol.. I know it’s a lie. It doesn’t help me at all, it only seems to hurt me. I don’t want to end up like my father and I don’t want to do the damage that he did. I don’t want people to worry about me and I don’t want to wake up in another hospital, confused about what happened the night prior. That’s a scary feeling to lose control of yourself and black out. I’m nervous though, because I got invited to a Halloween party on Saturday. That will be the ultimate test, to be surrounded by all the alcohol and remain sober. A part of me doesn’t want to go, because I don’t fully trust myself but I don’t know. A part of wants to go so I can prove to myself that I am capable of having self control. 

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