At war with depression.

I think depression is a war composed of endless battles. I used to think I could win this war but once I realized that was not possible, things became easier. You can win battles, but you could never fully win the war. In my opinion, I don’t think one can truly cure themselves of it. I think we can accept our wins and losses individually and learn how to build off of that. I am still at war with my depression, but lately I’ve won more battles than I have lost. Honestly, discontinuing antidepressants was the best thing I could have done for me. My mind was clouded with false hope and expectations of being “fixed.” Now, I accept my flaws because each battle wound has a story. I have survived all of the wounds; I’m still here. I have become stronger compared to the girl who tried to take her own life 11 months ago. What works for me is distractions. Depression tends to cause you to lose sight of your passions and hopes, but I forced them back into my life. I have a long way to go to becoming the girl I once was, but I have slowly been reintroducing my old passions into my life. Even if I lack the motivation to do it, I make myself and I’m always grateful for it afterwards. If we let the negativity consume us, our mindset will never change. Happiness is not something that is readymade for you to just stumble upon; it is a product of our actions. I may not be “happy” yet, but I am full of joy. 

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