I just…. 

I just wish my life wasn’t such a roller coaster. I wish I was stable. I wish my moods didn’t change rapidly for no reason whatsoever. I want to know why I’m sad, mad, or even suddenly happy. I feel but then I don’t; I am numb in a way. I just go through the motions of life. I’m alive, but I’m not living. I want to live. I am fighting for a pulse. I am seeking a thrill just to show me that I am here. I need something to bring me back. When did I lose myself and how can I find myself again? Will I ever get better? 
Late night thoughts from a lost cause. 

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