My damaged soul aches..

I don’t understand how people can acknowledge your big heart and still continue to hurt you. They see how compassionate and generous you are, then use that to their advantage. It does not matter how many times I have gotten fucked over, I still try to please everyone. I still care more for the well-being of others than I do about myself. I always tell myself that I would stop allowing people to use me, but a majority of the time I never even realize. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, because I know everyone has goodness within them. I trust a person, stranger or friend, to respect me enough to not screw me over. When I refer to my trust issues, I typically trust those I know I should question and doubt those who seem too good to be true. The events of yesterday made me question a lot of things. I am not sure if I am conflicted because I am scared or because there is truly a need to worry. Either way, these thoughts of uncertainty have been eating away at me all night. Am I settling? Or am I making excuses because I fear being destroyed again? Why can’t I be happy without becoming paranoid of ulterior motives? How can the confession of true feelings excite me one minute then terrify me the next? Why must the bad thoughts in my mind always overshadow the good? My damaged soul aches.Key to My Inner Soul- VLOG

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