I got the boy.. Cali boy. I appreciate the fact that nothing seems different; the title didn’t add any pressure. I feel like I am with my best friend, and we continue to learn more about each other. I can continue to be my weird self and get no judgment. He truly accepts me for me in the same way I accept him. He sees my light and accepts my dark, and I am so grateful. I haven’t found anyone that has liked me for who I was and didn’t try to change me until now. Sometimes, I get lost in a trance staring at him because I like to focus on the small things he does. The way he plays with his beard when he gets nervous around me. The way his hands get fidgety if he sits still for too long. The way he bites his lip when he wants to kiss me. The gleam in his eyes when he talks about his daughter. The subtle smile that makes a brief appearance on his face as he looks at his niece and nephews; I know he’s thinking of the life he brought into this world. I like when I zone out and look back over to catch him staring at me. I see how happy he gets when I’m with the kids and witnesses the strong bond I have built with them. He is happy his family loves me and connects with me, especially the kids. I know that means the most to him, because he wants me to connect with his daughter when I meet her. He likes to study me, he says. He can tell when I’m tired, because I get eye twitches. He notices how I hide behind my shades to keep anyone from seeing my soul through my eyes. He says he can tell I have a big heart and he wants so badly to protect it. Sometimes we sit and we just discuss the small details we have noticed about each other over the past few months. I enjoy the simple moments like this, because they’re so heart warming. I like it when he reminds me of the things that led him to fall for me. He is grateful for me never leaving his side even during the worst of times, for being the support system he needs, and for just being genuine with him. Cali boy always talks about how addicted he is to me and every detail about me; My heart melts. I used to try so hard to protect myself by being a cold and guarded person, but he changed that and I’m happy I allowed him to. He altered his career path to stay in close proximity to me and that meant so much to me.
The ending to our night was the best part because we sat out in the backyard and looked up at the stars and he opened up to me in a new way. He allowed me the opportunity to dive into his mind and learn his perspectives. We also found the Big Dipper, which looked so beautiful. I wish I could capture the beauty of the night sky on camera. It was truly a peaceful sight; totally worth the allergic reactions to bug bites that came along with it.