I realized that when i know a guy is bad for me, I don’t run. A part of me knows it’ll end eventually, so I enjoy the “honeymoon” phase and the idea of having someone but when a person is actually good for me.. I get cold feet. I fall for a good person, and as soon as it’s reciprocated I flee. A part of me feels as though maybe I don’t deserve it. Maybe they will realize that they could find someone better? Or maybe I’m too damaged for that person? The struggles I face isn’t something I would want to make them suffer through. Life can get so chaotic , and a part of me feels destructive; most good things do not survive long around me. I wish I could allow myself to be loved, especially since I crave it so deeply. Side note: I’m about to get my first weave and I am terrified. Get ready for the head pat and hair flips.