A hostage in my own hell

He caught me… He caught me balled up clenching my bleeding wrist. I tried to leave though, but he wouldn’t let me exit the hotel room. He kept yelling at me to drop my stuff and sit down. I would’ve gotten away with it all, if he would have just let me go home. I didn’t want him to see that my wounds were continuously bleeding, I wanted to get away. The entire situation could have been avoided if he would have left me escape when I tried. He made me feel like a hostage, and all he did was continue to yell at me before even seeing all my scars, because I wasn’t expressive enough with my feelings. I seek compassion, intimacy, kindness, and he just reminded me of the monsters in my life I have tried so hard to run away from. I wish he would be more gentle with his tone of voice and words. I wish he could hold me and show affection, but instead he inserted his penis inside me because he was horny. I don’t want sex, I want a guy that is truly going to be there for me in the same way I am there for them. Sex is not a cure for everything.

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