Fifty shades of fuck my life…

2:35PM

I am so fed up. Today is just not the day for any shit. People are being lazy and don’t want to do their job, yet they want to micromanage everyone else. How can you tell other people to do tasks when you yourself aren’t doing a damn thing. It’s really tiring having to pick up the slack for other people. I’m also tired of doing work while others get the credit for it. I used to not care, but now I’m just like wait… That was me busting my ass up there not them. 
It’s also very irritating when you have a manager that doesn’t actually manage. But whatever, enough of that nonsense for now.
Even though I’m stressed out and overwhelmed, I’m still in a pretty good mood. At least I appear to be to the customers. I have been trying to illuminate kindness and happiness hoping that’ll it’ll spread and things would become better.
My anxiety is getting really bad, but I already took my adderall for the day and I don’t want to take a xanax to counteract it. I sure do need that relaxed feeling though. Adderall can be really annoying though, because I get the worst cotton mouth and I just have the urge to gulp down gallons of water.
Once again Whole Foods fucked up my order. I got back to work and opened my box and of course my fries aren’t made how they are supposed to be. What did I do to deserve all of this?
Let me stop focusing on the bad. Ok, positive things about today:
– mom coming to town.
– staying in a hotel in St. Pete
– today is pay day.
– I am not closing at work.
– I am getting free Starbucks. 
– I bought a Michael Kors necklace for $24. 
Oh my gosh, this old man that works with me keeps passing gas. He doesn’t even care, but dude we are eating in the break room.  So gross. 
So, about last night… My friend and I tried Tampa Bay brewing company; it was really delicious. We then ended up going crazy in target, you know how that goes.. You go in for one thing and end up with everything you know you don’t need. After, we went to a sex shop. My gosh. This one was  not as good as the one in Jacksonville. They mostly had costumes, vibrators and dildos. Plus the stuff was super overpriced. The fifty shades of grey collection though! I want it all. I don’t even have sex, so I don’t know why I need these things. I just keep wasting money on items I’ll never actually use. Anyways, so the only thing we ended up buying from the ship was one condom. Yes, we are those lames. So then we went to a friends house, but we were being total creepers to see if he was home or not. We thought if we waited then we would see him go in once he got home from work. Yeah, 20 minutes later there was no sign of him. My friend went around the apartment to peek in his windows. I swear she’s more of a creep than me. So basically what we ended up doing was putting the condom in a target bag then leaving it on his door. We are such weirdos. She was convinced he would get the hint and come over. I wasn’t so sure, because I mean… It’s a condom and he didn’t answer the phone. I really want the condom back though. We spent $1.50 on that crap, you aren’t about to use the condom we got on someone else. I can’t even ask for it back though because:
1. That’s petty
2. He can’t know it’s me
I really feel like me and Melia need our own show. We are some hilarious ass mother fuckers. We do the most random shit, but that’s what makes our days so exciting. 
I really need my own bank account. I apologize for all the scattered thoughts, I’m just all over the place as usual. Anyways, I really need my own account because my sister is being mean. She gets so irritated about my money being in her account. I don’t even ask her to do anything really. I would have her send money through western union, but my mom always handled it. And I only keep enough money in there to pay my bills online. I don’t know. I just need to get my shit together and be more financially responsible. I don’t know why I keep digging myself into deep holes. Yes, that’s plural. I don’t just dig myself deeper, I dig numerous holes. I overcome one, then I’ll dig a few more. I can acknowledge all my faults yet I never try to change them until it’s too late. I really just don’t need money in my hands. The fact that I know I have money just leads me to spend it on irresponsible things. I am mostly excited for summer classes because of the refund check. It was hell going through these past few months without that refund check to help me stay afloat. I wasn’t used to that. I always had that cushion. Now I can hopefully use this check to get out of this rut I put myself in. I need to get everything in order. I can’t graduate in December and be struggling that much. I am already going to have the stress of student loans. I really need to cut back on Starbucks, but instead of alcohol I just get fraps. It’s really hard to cut something out of your life that has played s major role in 9 years of it. I guess I’ll try to eat these nasty fries and woosah my way to a better mindset before I go back to work.
Later to anyone that cares to read my thoughts. 
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