Today I went to work on my day off to talk to B. I needed her insight. I needed her to help me put some things in perspective. She told me I shouldn’t feel guilty for cutting the jerk out of my life if he isn’t giving me what I need in a friendship. But I also shouldn’t expect so much from people knowing that they won’t change to fit the mold. And I thought it would be good to open up and let him know everything I felt but she says I don’t owe him an explanation. I really don’t. Plus, it’ll create drama for no reason because he’s so sensitive about everything. He can never be in the wrong. B opened up my mind to Angels and how we have guardians sent to us and always near us to protect us and guide us. My angels name is Imma. B is like a mom. She’s awesome. She has such a loving heart full of genuine kindness.
I’m so lonely. I’m seriously so tired of being alone all day, every day. I want company. I need more friends. That’s another thing B told me to do, to socialize more. She says I think too much and it keeps me from focusing on school and work like i should. B believes that if I spent less time thinking of how I want things to be then I could use that time to focus on myself.
3/9/15 12:23 AM…
I went all of the 8th with no food. I just want to lose weight. But I had to finally eat because lizzy said my hair could fall out. But now I want to vomit and I am in such excruciating pain. I feel as if Edward scissor hands is trying to claw his way out of my stomach. I can’t move. Ugh, I’m so nauseous. I hate this feeling. I swear I have to start drinking my meals because I can’t take this.