I bet B is a good mother. She’s been through so much in her life and has made it through stronger than ever. She was abused for 20+ years by her husband and finally left him. And to this day, she can still remain cordial with him for her kids Sake. Other than that, it’s whatever with him. She has such a forgiving heart. I admire it, I aspire to have it as well. She always gives a lending ear when you just need to vent or if you really just need help. Sometimes I feel so lost and she helps me find my way back. Also, she believes in me more than anything. B is the reason I’m so ready to go back to school and finish strong. She’s so encouraging. I hope to one day be as strong as her.
I’m so early for work and I’m pretty sure it will include more trips to the office. I need a drink, but I don’t. I just want something to make me forget even if it’s for a minute, but alcohol is never the answer. Adulthood sucks. You envy your older siblings and all the adults, then you finally make it to that point and it’s like the whole world comes crashing down. There’s so much pressure put upon you to go to college, work enough to pay bills, graduate college, get a successful career, get married, have kids, and make sure to remain financially stable. I thought adulthood would be like having freedom. I don’t feel free at all. I feel trapped. Trapped in a world of stress. I just want to be a bird. I want to live with no restrictions. I’m tired of working my ass off to still end up struggling. I’m just ready for the day I can say “I did it.” In my mind, that day just involves being sane and not over worked.
My sister thinks I should keep typing up my thoughts and turn these entries into a book. I don’t think anyone cares what I have to think that much. Oh well.