I’m so overwhelmed. I have so much going on and I feel like I have to continuously hide it. I’m trying to become more positive, so it can overshadow all the negative things in my life. I have screwed myself into a deep, deep hole and I have no idea how to fix it. I am ruining myself by trying to maintain a lifestyle I know I can’t have right now . I’m trying to make everyone happy, meanwhile I am not truly happy myself. I’m trying to numb the pain and block the thoughts with liquor and pills. I have made a mess of my life and I don’t know what to do. I have fucked myself up in school and I don’t think there is any coming back, but a part of me doesn’t care. I hate school and I hate the pressure. I hate how miserable it makes me. It causes me to be depressed. I feel like my depression will never officially be cured when I can’t escape the thing that brings me down the most.
End of 2014 maybe ?